An alternative way to Pass the Peace…for the kind of world we’re living in now.

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Not to state the obvious, but we’re in the middle of a national emergency and a global crisis – a pandemic – and it’s scary and confusing and evidently our survival is going to depend a lot on how much toilet paper we have stockpiled. Not to mention, we’re all trying to figure out what “social distancing” actually means. (Several articles from The Atlantic have been helpful to me on this front.)

In the last few days businesses have started sending people to work from home. Schools are closing. Sports events and concerts are being cancelled or postponed.

 So yeah, strange times. Scary times. It’s hard not to panic. It’s hard to know what to do. And how to be in the world. And how to actually be good people in the world. 

 For some of us who are leaders or pastors in churches and faith communities of various kinds, we’re also thinking about what it might mean to be God’s people in the world today.

In the last two days, I’ve heard from several church pastors whose congregations have made the wise decision to begin virtual worship to help slow down the spread of the virus. But it’s been a little freaky to think about that for them and not an easy decision to make – don’t people need “real church” right now? (If you’re someone who’s wrestling with that, I highly recommend this blog post from a pastor in Washington state – “Virtual” Is Not Unreal. )

 But this past Monday, just 6 days ago, before it became clear that we needed to stop gathering in large groups completely because of COVID-19, I was thinking about being in church next Sunday morning and about that time in the liturgy in which we are all encouraged to “pass the peace.”  At many churches the passing of the peace happens with a handshake, at others it’s a moment for big hugs and cheek kissing. Of course, hugs and handshakes need to go away because…Coronavirus.  So I started wondering if there was a meaningful way we could pass the peace without touching.  And wouldn’t it be great if we could find a way to do it whether we are meeting in person or virtually?

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I felt it was important because I’ve often believed one of the reasons some folks come to church (whether they might articulate this or not) is for this moment of warm human contact. For those who live alone, they may need this moment, more than we might even imagine.

 For others of us, this ancient ritual of peace-offering is a reminder of our deepest human connections, and our need for each other on a macro level, our interconnectedness, a reminder that we don’t walk through life alone, but rather, as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” When I go to church, I’m suddenly with all kinds of people I might not otherwise be friends with or even know. Yet, here we are, all together, different yet together, intimately sharing space as well as - often without saying words and simply by our very presence - our hopes and fears, faith (and lack of faith), struggles and longings.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

 So, I believe passing the peace is a significant ritual. One I think we may need now, more than ever. But right now, the way we’ve been doing it, it doesn’t feel that…safe.

As I started thinking what else we could do during that time in the worship liturgy that would be meaningful and help people feel that sense of connection with each other, while maintaining a safe distance, I thought well, of course, we could all throw up a peace sign or put our hands on our hearts or even do the elbow bump…but I wondered if there might be something more true to the spirit of the moment – which is really meant to be about opening yourself up and offering peace intentionally to someone else. 

 I’m so lucky to be friends with a woman who is an associate professor in the Dance/Movement Therapy and Counseling program at one of our local colleges, Jessica Young. I met Jessica at LaSalle Street Church several years ago and she and I have talked quite a bit about the need to find gentle ways for all of us to move our bodies more in worship. Last year, we thought one way to do that might be by teaching more people the ancient Body Prayer of Julian of Norwich.  She helped me put together this video demonstration of it, in fact. 

 I emailed Jessica this past Monday and we talked on Tuesday via video call about a simple new way to pass the peace without physical contact. Jessica had this idea – and I think it’s beautiful: 

You simply turn to the person next to you, put both hands together on your heart than extend your open hands to them. And while you do this, you look them in the eye. Eye contact matters. You may want to say words like “Peace be with you” as you do it.  Or you may just want to do it silently. 

As the person echoes that gesture back to you, you then bring your hands back to your heart again and sightly bow your head, essentially receiving the gift with gratitude.

Jessica made a quick video demonstrating the gesture too. 

This gesture says so much to me about what I believe is the intention behind passing the peace. By placing my hands on my heart, and then removing them, I am exposing my vulnerable heart to you. I am saying: By the grace of God, I am not going to hold myself back from you in fear. When I extend my open hands to you, I am saying: Not only am I not trying to hide and defend myself, I only have peace to give. And the eye contact means it’s personal, it’s not flippant, it’s significant, this matters to me, it’s a kind of promise. 

 And It’s easy. Did I mention that? Almost anyone can do this gesture, no matter what their age or abilities. (It isn’t a great solution for those who are vision-impaired or blind, I will admit, and I would welcome any ideas on that front. I can’t even imagine how much more difficult this “no touching” time must be to navigate for them.)

 In just the few days since Jessica and I first talked about this, so many churches are moving totally to virtual worship (at least for a while) so this new gesture may seem like a moot point. However, I think this is also a gesture that could become part of your virtual worship experience. It is something the pastor or liturgist could do on screen in that moment in the liturgy and I think it would make a difference to those who are watching. It could mean that you don’t have to skip over this important moment or lose a practice that has been a part of the church for centuries. 

 Of course, I also think it might be an alternative way to pass the peace when we all begin to gather together again in offline spaces. It might be actually safer and more responsible to try to encourage a different way of passing the peace going forward. The world has changed and viruses like this seem to be happening more and more. It doesn’t have to be this gesture, of course – your congregation may want to develop its own. But if this one works for you, Jessica and I would love for you to use it. That’s why we’re putting it out there.

 I realize there may be folks feeling like we just need to drop the whole passing of the peace thing altogether. Who would say: “It’s not that big a deal really – and it’s often awkward or hard on introverts.” “It’s more about being friendly and saying hello than anything else, which people can do after worship.” “Does the passing of the peace have a real, scriptural, faith-centered meaning, anyway?” 

I believe it does. It was a practice that grew out of Jesus’ reminder that blessed are the peacemakers and Christ’s call to be peacemakers (Col. 1:20-21, Eph. 2:14-21 Eph. 4:3), and a gesture that says we want to follow a way of life “framed by Christ’s peace.” And our world needs gestures of Christ’s peace, now, I would say, desperately. Instead of giving it up we may want to recommit ourselves to it. And if you come from an evangelical church that hasn’t done a passing of the peace ritual, it might even be a good time to adopt one.  

This Coronavirus crisis may prove to be a crucial tipping point, forcing us to confront all kinds of questions about what it means to be the church today…more quickly than we wanted to. If you’re a pastor or church leader, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My faith leads me to believe that difficult roads can lead to beautiful destinations and Jessica and I hope offering this new way to do the passing of the peace, might be at least a little bit of help to you on this journey. 

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This was written by Lenora Rand who does a lot of writing for The Plural Guild, the music, art & liturgy collective she co-founded, to create resources for people of faith and doubt committed to seeking justice, who love kindness and who are trying to walk humbly on this earth. She is the lyricist for the band, The Many. You will find more of Lenora’s writing on the Chicago Tribune’s blogging platform, Chicago Now, in a blog called Spiritual Suckitude.

Along with that, Lenora, who basically never sleeps, helps run a branding and marketing consultancy called SmallGood, helping nonprofits, social enterprises, churches and for-profit positive impact companies grow their good.